Saturday, December 17, 2011

Hey, girl ...


Please tell me you've seen this site. If not, you need to go read it. Go on, I'll wait for you.

OK, now that you're back, let's talk a little bit about this Ryan Gosling meme that's been making its way around the internet. It involves photos of (of course) Ryan Gosling, accompanied by short statements that are about as likely to make the ladies swoon as they are unlikely to be coming from such a macho man. It's pretty clever. My PhD student wife saw Feminist Ryan Gosling, and Sara pointed me to Law School Ryan Gosling. And Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gosling is worth a peek. But, of course, my favorite is the Handmade Ryan Gosling one. Hilarious.

It's definitely been making its way around the quilting blogosphere. Amber got a blog post up about it. So did Monica.

Well, I don't know what came over me on Saturday night, but I couldn't stop thinking of new "Hey girls" for the quilting community. And once I started posting them to my Twitter account, I couldn't stop. I was doing some grocery shopping (yes, on a Saturday night. yes, I'm lame), and I kept pulling the cart over to tweet something ridiculous or read some of the other contributions that were popping up on my timeline. It was actually A LOT of fun. Contrary to popular belief, I was NOT drinking.

Jennifer (@Sweet_Liberty), Melissa (@yummygoods), and Amanda (@heyporkchop) all got in on the fun, too. And Michelle (@MichelleBencsko) and Jaclyn (@UrbanCrunch) took it a step further by flipping the script and coming up with some "Hey, guy" posts, more appropriate for us manquilters.

Due to popular demand, and for the benefit of those of you who aren't following along on Twitter, I've compiled all of my "hey girls" for quilters here on this post. I'll probably keep posting them to my blog -- hey, who knows when inspiration will strike? -- so it might be a good time to jump over and follow me.

In the meantime, get comfy and check out my "hey girls" from the past couple of days. Some of them, frankly, still make me chuckle out loud. Have a favorite? Let me know!! I'd also love to eventually put them all on photos, the way the real sites do, but that just seems like an awful lot of work. Anyone want to help??

--

Hey girl. Of course I want to watch Love Actually with you again. It's our annual tradition.

Hey girl. I think I'll call you Ric-Rac. 'Cuz you're cute & I like your curves.

Hey girl, you're way too creative to be wasting your time on something so monotonous. Step aside & let me cut those sashing strips for you.

Hey girl, of course I don't mind if all of our kitchen appliances have Hello Kitty on them. I love her too.

Hey girl, how did you know? There's nothing I wanted more than a mug rug. It's even better than those Dr. Dre headphones I asked for.

Hey girl, it looks like we have enough money left to buy either a new flat-screen TV or a Blythe doll. You decide, 'kay?

Hey girl, don't you worry about where you're gonna store all that new FMF next month. I've already started cleaning out my Xbox cabinet.


Hey girl, this infinity scarf is totally going to impress the guys at work. especially because you used AMH voile ... AND velveteen.

Hey girl, you're killin' it with those curved seams.

Hey girl, I talked to the guys & we'd love to open up our weekly poker game to the girls from your MQG. they're really cool.

Hey girl, I skipped my workout today & instead organized all of your quilting magazines alphabetically by title, & then by date.


Hey girl, I just love our bedroom this time of year. It's when we can switch from our mermaid quilt to our unicorn quilt.

Hey girl, I know you're unsure about it, but you know what I always say: you can never have too many ruffles.

Hey girl, wld u mind putting fabric in some embroidery hoops & hanging them in the garage? I'd love to look @ something pretty while lifting.

Hey girl, I just read that the price of cotton is going up. You know what that means: I'll start packing my lunch to bring to work.

Hey girl, I've decided 2 take up scrapbking. U left behind a lot of great stuff when u started quilting, & I wouldn't want them 2 go 2 waste.

Hey girl, I'm so glad you signed up for another round of that pillow swap. I think 14 is the perfect number of pillows to have on our bed.

Hey girl, I think it's cool that you hang out with that tall, mysterious guy at quilt market. I mean, he doesn't intimidate me. Much.

Hey girl, lets totally hit that quilt shop today. You know -- my favorite, with the comfy chair & the old Sports Illustrateds.


Hey girl, no one rocks a honey cowl like you do. No one.

Hey girl, go ahead & bring me what you're wearing to work tomorrow. I'll press it as soon as I'm done getting these FQ's ready for you.

Hey girl, I'm nearly done packing for my business trip tomorrow. Thanks for whipping up these drawstring bags for me: one for my shaving kit, one for my computer cords, & a third for snacks on the plane. Oh look, you already filled it w/ goldfish crackers. You're the best!

Hey girl, I'll turn this game down. Siri just reminded me that@QuilterPatSloan's podcast is about to begin, & I wouldn't want to disturb u.

Hey girl, I hope you like that pincushion in your stocking. I had my grandma teach me how to hand sew just so I could make it for you. xoxo

Hey girl, there's a bag for you on your cutting table. Notion were 50% off at Jo-Ann and I just couldn't pass that up. Rotary blades, too.

Hey girl, every time you tell me you're sewing with Innocent Crush, it reminds me of how I felt when we first met. It should be *our* line.

Hey girl, 2nite was supposed to be date night, but ... oh, OK! Invite the gals over for a sew-in. I'll whip up some fruit salsa & a pitcher of margs.


Hey girl, I know they look alike, but you totally posted a picture of that quilt before she did. She's obviously a poser. And fat.

Hey girl, I know we're short on floor space, so feel free to drape your quilt rows over my Bowflex. I think it looks festive.

Hey girl, I can't think of anything I'd like better to hang in my cube than some bunting. Our office colors are grey and grey.

Hey girl, you'll never guess what happened to me today. My boss asked me what my coffee cup was sitting on and when I said it was a mug rug, she brought me to HR for a harassment claim. Looks like I'm off this week -- I can help you sew!


Hey girl, it doesn't matter how big you make that quilt, as long as we can both fit under it while we watch The Good Wife.

Hey girl, go on and enjoy dinner with your friends. I'll stand on this Sample Spree line for 4 hours. I brought my Kindle.

Hey girl, I know you've got 6 bee blocks to catch up on tonight. Sounds like a Starbucks run is in order. Want whipped cream on your mocha?

Hey girl, I don't care how many times you make wonky log cabin blocks. They look rad every. single. time.

Hey girl, I know you agonized for nights over whether to use Kona Snow or Kona White. I think you made the right decision. You always do.

Hey girl, come here and check out this episode of Storage Wars. Is that a featherweight? I love when you teach me about sewing machines.

Hey girl, these christmas stockings have been in my family for generations, but we can totally swap them out for those ones you just made.

Hey girl, you still have 322 hexagon templates to cut out? Stick them in my briefcase. It'll give me something to do during my conference calls.

Hey girl, I know that girl in your bee asked 4 a really tough block this month. It's only b/c she knows u can make it better than she could.

Hey girl, I know you're busy, but could you crochet me a set of golf club cozies? With fox ears? That would be rad.

Hey girl, thanks for that Apple store gift card. I went to get my iPad 2, but instead left with a credit card reader. No no no, don't protest -- you've got those 2 craft fairs coming up.

Hey guy, I went ahead and had that flat-screen installed in your sewing room. That way, you can watch the game AND finish up your quilt.

Hey girl, of course you can leave all of your sewing stuff there. Who needs a formal dining room, anyway?

Hey girl, I love how you hung a wall of mini quilts in our living room. And kitchen. Think you have enough left to do my home office, too?

Hey girl, I think the crochet amigurumi vegetables that are on top of my dresser are getting lonely. Just sayin'.

Hey girl, I think my office Christmas party is the perfect occasion to debut that tie you made me from upcycled cloth diapers, don't you?

Hey girl, I love that u think highly enough of my mom to not make her holiday quilt from Jo-Ann fabrics. She may not notice, but I'll know.

Hey girl, my offer still stands to drive you to your quilt retreat. I can haul firewood, and I make a mean omelette. Just say the word.

Hey girl, I'm so glad we spent the day walking that craft fair together. And thanks for surprising me with that hand-screened American Apparel skinny tee. I love pictures of kawaii dessert characters.

Hey girl, I told my mom that a gift certificate to the @FatQuarterShop is like a gift for both of us b/c quilting brings you such joy. And when you're happy, I'm happy. Now come here so I can give you a hug.


Hey girl. You, me, a roaring fire, a bottle of wine, & your Hoop Bag. Add in the Pinterest app & we've got the recipe for a perfect evening.

Hey girl, I'm as excited as u are that Amy Butler's husband is designing fabric now too. And you're right: that is one ruggedly handsome man

Hey girl, I love my new shirt -- and I don't care what they say, kimono tops are totally appropriate for men. Plus, you made a matching one for my Blythe doll. You know the way to a man's heart.

Hey girl, I know #talknt is tonight, so I took the liberty of lighting some candles, pouring you a glass of wine, & hiring a sitter. Enjoy.

Hey girl, I only booked us a 2-BR condo, but of course I don't mind if you invited all the Yams to our weekend getaway. I'll take the couch.

Hey girl, there's nothing more relaxing than falling asleep in your arms as I listen to u debate the merits of Kona vs. Bella. Come closer.

Hey girl. Done w/ your workout already? I've got 10 min's left on the treadmill. Mind switching the TV to Project Runway on your way out?

Hey girl, come lay down next to me on this faux bear skin rug that you made. I <3 that u used Flower Sugar for his belly & inside his ears.

Hey girl. You, me, Buble, and the hum of your sewing machine. You sure know how to make a house a home. xoxo

Hey girl. I know that's your "super secret" sewing project for me, but do I spy a scoodie? Oh, it's going to be a very merry Christmas.

Hey girl, the Jo-Ann coupons are right over there under the new Anthro catalog. And yeah, I've already dog-eared the pages of things I think you'd look great in.


Hey girl. I brought you a bottle of champagne. Why? Oh, don't be so humble. I saw you got 25 comments on your blog giveaway. Rock star.

Hey girl, I can really see the difference in your quilts since you painted the room soft violet. It totally brings out your creativity. And your eyes.

Hey girl, I've noticed that you bind that quilt much faster when I'm rubbing your feet. So kick 'em up here & let me take care of the rest.

Hey girl, I'm at the park wearing the yellow knit Pikachu hat you made, all ready for the photo shoot. You're totally gonna make the Etsy front page with this one.

Hey girl. So that's called "oilcloth"? Sweet. Now you can sew *and* chill with me in the hot tub.

Hey girl. You know how much you love the new Nani Iro line? Well, that's how I feel about you. x 10.

Hey girl. That chick's blog comment was wack. Your free tute looks nothing like that one on the @ModaBakeShop.

And here are some of my favorites from my friends ...



112 comments:

  1. Holy hell, I didn't realize you'd done that many!

    I thought of a Hey Guy for you...

    Hey Guy, I know you want to get that binding finished so I'll just go and shovel the walk. The neighbour's too.

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  2. I found your blog when I was on twitter last night. I couldn't resist the #heygirl tweets.

    Now to just get my husband to talk to me that way...

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  3. The Ric Rac one is one of my favorites :)

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  4. OMG, how did I miss the yam one??!!! So much for the mug rug/HR one being my favorite (I so envisioned Toby Flenders have a k'nipch). YAM POWERS activated!

    Your hey girl's are so awesome - so glad you put them all on your blog!

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  5. OMG, funniest post ever! I wish I had more quiltty friends IRL to share this with. My fav is the bunting for the grey grey cube.

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  6. These are hilarious. Great job to ALL the Hey Girl tweeters. :)

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  7. super funny! i have to share this post with everyone.

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  8. Love it! I was cracking up at these on Twitter (I think the FMF one is my favorite) but I'm so glad to know that they are now all in one handy post.

    Well done.

    Also, my word verification is 'phine'. Appropriate.

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  9. Too many good ones, but I love this: Hey girl, every time you tell me you're sewing with Innocent Crush, it reminds me of how I felt when we first met. It should be *our* line.

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  10. Hey, Girl. Sure, pass it over here, I will totally hand stitch that binding down for you.

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  11. Heres another site someone did on vintage picker Ryan Gosling
    http://vintagepickerryangosling.tumblr.com/

    Yours are great too. Now if all men would say this to us artsy chicks everything would be fine and dandy
    Jamie

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  12. So, so funny John. You're a natural at this stuff. Lucky wife of yours!

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  13. You nailed this so many times! I think it was the Kona snow/Kona white, or maybe the "our line"- no, they were all hilarious

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  14. HO, Thank you! I had so much fun reading these! You rock!

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  15. I'm lovin' the ones abou the "poser" and the Innocent Crush line! SO funny!

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  16. OH EM GEE. John, you are killin' me! I keep reading these to my husband.. and at first he laughed... and then he said it started to get too close to home. BWAHAHAAA!

    My favorite is the pillow swap. 14 IS the perfect number of pillows for our bed. Until the next round of course.

    The blog comments one comes in a close "spit my drink out" 2nd.

    I can not believe the Yams made it in there. Dying. Just dying.

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  17. I think it was the 14 pillows for our bed comment that had me rolling.

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  18. You must have been in the grocery store for hours! lol

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  19. Awesome! Your tweets are hilarious.

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  20. You can never have too many ruffles! All of these are hilarious! Gotta show these to my hubby, especially the pillow swap one. Ha!

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  21. OMG, you're cracking me up here!! I didn't realize that you'd written so darned many! These would make awesomely hilarious greeting cards for quilters... :)

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  22. Thank you so much for sharing those! My sides hurt from laughing so much. My husband didn't get it, and says thanks for the suggestion about rubbing feet while I bind:)

    Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  23. Oh my lord! This is the BEST and funniest post ever John. Thanks for the laughs!!

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  24. SO funny! And so many of them. These totally cracked me up.

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  25. oh my goodness, I almost spit out my breakfast all over my screen! these are TOO funny....
    I'm going to link to this on my blog...

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  26. Oh my good Lord, I was falling out of my chair laughing. Too too too funny!

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  27. So many I hadn't seen. How did I miss them? My old fave was about scrapbooking, reading through today, I loved the one about cleaning out the xbox cabinet for FMF. Keep them coming...

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  28. But the one about switching from the mermaid quilt to the unicorn quilt is pretty classic, too...

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  29. Hilarious! I saw about half of these on twitter. You're right... putting them on the photos makes such a great impact. ric rac and innocent crush are a couple of my favs!

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  30. She's obviously a poser. And fat.

    OMG I am falling off my chair laughing so hard!

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  31. OK.....the upcycled cloth diapers got me. *LOL*

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  32. Oh, you're killing me with these. I don't have time to sit here and read these, but I don't want to miss anything either. I love the bunting in the cubicle and the mysterious man at market. Hmmm.

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  33. Oh my goodness! you should start doing them!!! maybe even get a chick and start putting them together for the man-quilters out there.

    Thanks for a good laugh.

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  34. Perfect with my morning coffee! Awesome list, John! Love the one with the room repainted to show off the quilts.

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  35. Seriously John, this was great. Wish I sent more time tweeting. Of course I'm going to have to now. My hubby would get a chuckle fom these. Thanks my friend

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  36. awesome. thanks so much!! i think ric rac and the "she's obviously a poser" one... oh, and the champagne. yeah. what a great way to start my morning.

    so if i had been the one tweeting from the grocery store, i would have been laughing out loud the whole time and getting weird looks....

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  37. I was lurking on Twitter on Saturday when you were doing this and I got such a case of the giggles. My husband asked me what I was doing and all I could think to say was "I'm reading quilters porn!" I've since added "Handmade Ryan Gosling" to my reader!
    So, Let me try this: "Hey, girl, I just transferred some money to your household account. If you're running low on fabric each month we must have budgeted wrong!"

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  38. I think it's required that every crafter blog about this meme this week. I've got one scheduled for tomorrow, and I've seen 3 or 4 from my favorite blogger crafters. :)

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  39. OMG HAHAHAHAHAAH I can't believe you did SO many! did you get ANY grocery shopping done?! I really loved the one about "you're too creative to do something so monotonous, let me cut those sashing strips for you" - LOVE IT!!!

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  40. My favorite, laugh out loud at work "Hey, girl," is the mermaid to unicorn swap. You should definitely find a hot chick (Selma Hayek?) and post some of these for the crafty men out there.

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  41. Oh my gosh. I'd seen the Feminist one, but the Homemade one?! AMAZING! And then yours were the best, by far. I was practically swooning. :)

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  42. My, my, you have been busy! These are absolutely hilarious. You may have missed your true calling. :)

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  43. You crack me up. Please don't stop writing these, John!

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  44. lmao!! this was the perfect way to lift my spirits after dealing with the phone company for work! love love love all your memes!

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  45. I just keep laughing and laughing.

    Hey guy, have you seen the new Kate Spain line coming out? I've ordered a Fat Quarter Bundle, and when it arrives we're going to roll around in it's yumminess and make some of our own good fortune.

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  46. You are insane!! In the best way possible.

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  47. Brilliant! Best laugh of the week!

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  48. These are a riot John!! Love the one about switching the unicorn quilt for the mermaid one or vice versa! I can only imagine what the people at the grocery store were thinking about when you were texting?! hehehehehehe

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  49. These just made my day. So much better laying in bed sick when you can laugh! Hilarious!

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  50. OMG these are hi-larious! I have to say I was not a huge RG fan before but man he is hot and has a lot of great things to say! :)

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  51. bahahaha!, i actually have a hello kitty toaster!. Thanks they were a riot.

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  52. This right here had my daughter and I rolling!
    "Hey girl, you're way too creative to be wasting your time on something so monotonous. Step aside & let me cut those sashing strips for you."
    *SWOON!*

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  53. Hilarious, John! I almost peed my pants a couple of times and my kids officially think I'm crazy (not that they didn't before) b/c I'm laughing so hard. Thanks for the laughs!

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  54. So, so good. It's hard to pick a favorite, but you are slaying it! Oh, this is definitely my favorite meme ever.

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  55. ha ha ha ha :)

    Love it!! I totally sent these to my boyfriend!!!

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  56. I saw you posting some of these the other night on twitter. Too cute! I wanted to respond with the "Hey boy!" But I didn't. I'm glad you wrote this post cause I was wondering where it all came from.

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  57. Bwwaaaaahahahaha! Can't.stop.laughing!!!! These are hilarious! I'm totally going to get myself one of those fancy twitter accounts so I never miss a "hey girl..." ever again!

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  58. John, these are hilarious! This one: "Hey girl, I just love our bedroom this time of year. It's when we can switch from our mermaid quilt to our unicorn quilt." made me LOL so hard, I thought I was gonna cry! Thanks for the laugh--I needed that!!

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  59. TOTALLY dying!!! did you watch the interview with Chez Ryan about it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YB9lfm5l5w

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  60. Have you seen the original Porn for women book? http://johngushue.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/20/craft_fair.jpg

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  61. I couldn't stop laughing! I tried making a few of my own "Hey girl" photos after being inspired by your post (although yours are definitely the best):

    http://www.patchworkduck.com/2011/12/ryan-gosling-hey-girl-meme-for-quilters.html

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  62. Hands down, best blog post of 2011! Love it!

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  63. You are a scream! Thanks for the incredibly funny look at ourselves through male eyes!

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  64. Comedic genius. I'm enjoying this WAY more than I should.

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  65. I must interrupt the reading of this post to cackle over the ric-rac one! Best! Love it! Ok... now to return to reading this list.

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  66. Just got through them all. Brilliant. I think I need to take up Twitter again...

    Wonder what the real Ryan Gosling thinks about the Hey Girl memes circulating right now. He's my favourite Canadian fella.

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  67. days later i'm STILL cracking up...

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  68. OMG, hilarious!! So sorry I missed all this on twitter!

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  69. Oh my sweet goodness - I'm sorry, but I won't be following your blog for a while, or eating....or bathing...I'm physically unable to stop reading Handmade Ryan Gosling. Curse you, Quilt Dad!! ;)

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  70. I made coasters for a friend. Just posted them on my blog.

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  71. HILARIOUS!!! I am laughing so hard! Thanks for posting these...they are great!

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  72. oh my - laughing SO hard right now!! Love them :)

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  73. That ric rac one is the best, I keep passing that one on and everyone loves it. Yours and Happy Zombie's are so funny.

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  74. More funny you might like: http://girldetective.me/post/14571106997

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  75. Ric-rac. Now that's funny stuff! =}

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  76. Hilarious! Love the Innocent Crush one!

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  77. So glad I finally made it over to read them all! I laughed as hard tonight as I did when I saw them on Twitter. But by far my favorite is the gray and gray cubicle!

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  78. I was crying because I was laughing so hard! Thank you!!

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  79. LOL.....SO FUNNY!!! thanks for posting!!!

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  80. Holy crap!! I'm dying! So stinking hilarious!

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  81. ben thinks i'm crazy, but i just keep laughing, and laughing, and laughing...

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  82. Seriously laughed out loud numerous times. LOVE this post!!!

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  83. This made my day. Sending the hubs a link for some pointers.
    "Hey girl, don't worry about not getting me a Christmas gift this year.
    You know our family rocked it out on Christmas morning wearing our matching pajamas. "

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  84. The David Butler one is still my favourite - you rock John!

    Did you see the librarian hey girl meme? That's how I first came across this whole thing and I think it's amazingly hilarious...but then again, I am a librarian, so I would!

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  85. Hey girl, I know picking your esty name is really stressing you out. I'll sit here with you until we get it just. right.

    Hey girl, I think it's time we start a family. I just ordered baby's first barefoot sandals.

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  86. Hey girl, I know I said I wanted to go watch the game with the guys, but I really just wanna cuddle with you and read more of the farmer's wife letters. K babe?

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  87. Ok it was the picture of Ryan Gosling that got my attention when i came across your blog. But WOW MAN CAN YOU SEW !!! they are all beautifulxx

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  88. Whahahahahaha....awesome. You crack me up John

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  89. Okay so I just found a new blog to save to my Favorites! Came across you on Pinterest glad I did, not only are you very talented, you are hilarious, I was cracking up so hard on this last post of yours. I am new to quilting and definitely will be back to look for inspiration!
    Tanisha

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  90. I am going to be coming back to this post for days. So funny!

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  91. Hey Girl, I would say that you might be slightly addicted...but seriously who can blame you. I loved them all.

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  92. SOOO funny! I'm loving this!! My favorite is "Hey girl, you're way too creative to be wasting your time on something so monotonous. Step aside & let me cut those sashing strips for you." :-)

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  93. Oh my gosh! LMAO! I love Ryan. I haven't read through all the comments but... Hey quilt dad. You Rock and Ryan doesn't know a flying geese about quilts! :)

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  94. OK it's midnight, and this was the last post I let myself read before dragging myself away from Google Reader. My 3 month old will be up in just a few hours, but I had to read through this entire post, and pin it for future reads. Thank you for the laughs, I love it!

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  95. Hilarious!!! I laughed out loud while at work!! These are the best!!!

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  96. This "Hey Girl" stuff is absolutely hilarious and just made my day. My co-workers probably think I'm nuts, laughing out loud. Puts a smile on our faces though!!

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  97. Brilliant! Just brilliant! :-)

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  98. This is hands down my absolute favorite blog post of all time - from ANYONE! I talk about this post a lot, my husband will tell you - and just wanted to mention how much it makes me smile. I needed a smile tonight so I stopped back over. Hysterical! Really great stuff!!!

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